Internal Peace

I have felt more internal peace in the last week than I have in the last month combined. I've been able to move through my days without angst or anger. I am being reminded that God has not forgotten me. He knows exactly what I need and when I need it. When he says "wait" it is for good reason. He is doing a good work in me and is molding and making me into who he wants me to be. 

I lovelovelove the feeling of internal peace. It's a similar feeling to that of going away to college for the first time. All of the sudden, after your family has left and all that remains is boxes to unpack and a future to unfold, you realize you are not bound by any specific rules or regulations, boundaries or curfews. While in that moment I may not do anything all that differently than in my former angst-filled boundaried life, now I am able to be more fully myself, making choices daily, moment by moment that speak to the freedom I live in under Christ. To live in Christ's freedom is greater than any of life's adventures. 

For once my mind is at ease. I can sit in one place and simply not think. I suppose that is what you call "being" and not "doing." I am a really great doer, but I'd much rather be. There is so much freedom in being as you were made in Christ's image. If ignorance is bliss then freedom is fierce. It takes over all of who you are. It releases you completely. If you are truly free, no single part of you can be bound. There is no such thing as being "partially" released from prison. You either are or you aren't. It's all all or nothing deal. 

I'm not sure how to make it happen. It's not something you can force, but it is something that is available to us all. I know I live in freedom, but it's another thing to fully embrace it. I'm not sure how I got to this place. It's definitely not by my own doing. I have God's grace to thank for this state I am in. It's a "state" only by earthy standards, because it's available to me always. I'm not about to sit and try to figure out how I got here. I'm just going to be thankful for it.