What's My Story?

I haven't really shared this blog with many people. If I did, I'd probably have more readers. Go figure.

I just told my roommate/BFFL (Best Friend For Life...yes it's an official title) that I have a blog/website. I've shared it with only a few others (i.e. my sisters), probably out of fear that I am a terrible blogger, writer, and have nothing interesting to say and no stories to tell. While I consider myself a good communicator, I do not consider myself a great storyteller. I'm still not sure if it's because I have no stories to tell, or if I'm just not seeing the stories worth telling.

There has been a lot of conversation at work lately about writing your own story. "You are the lead character in your own story." While that's fine and dandy, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Ok, ok, I know what it means, but that's a little daunting. If I am the lead in my story and my story kind of sucks, then that's my own fault. I have no one to blame, and we all know it's nice to have someone to blame things on. Don't hate--you know it's true.

I'm think I am in the beginning of my story. Setting the groundwork and building the character. I'd say that's what the 20's are all about. But I'm also getting to that point, I think, where I'm ready to take the first step towards whatever story I am trying to tell. Sure, character development will continue to happen, but a story isn't a story without a plot, and definitely without stepping into that plot. So, here I am, wanting to step into my plot, but having NO IDEA what that plot is. Do I write it? Is the Big Guy Upstairs writing it? Do I let it happen? Can I change direction in the middle? I suppose every good story has twists and turns...

Lost would only begin to describe where I am. My mind is in a million places and I too easily become overwhelmed by said thoughts. Thoughts that consume me and prevent me from seeing life clearly and making decisions accordingly.  My recent adventure out of the country was probably the clearest my mind has been in a while. I forgot about all things related to my normal life and embraced each day and moment exactly as it was. Each day my goals were short lived. Get to this city or that hotel. Find this monument, throw a coin in the fountain. Take pictures. Eat when you can, sleep when you're done. Each day felt like a fresh start, each moment felt full of life. In the confines of a single day, I felt so much freedom.

But then here I am, back in reality, consumed by my day, thinking of the future and what it holds. Wanting more/different/change. Not really sure how to grab hold of it or what my first step should be.

Maybe I should start with telling more people about this blog. Maybe.