Where I Am

Normally I would feel sad or frustrated or even left behind right now, but instead I feel calm pace that tells me there is reason and timing for everything. It's really not even about my time or when my time will come, because it's not about me. It's not about my plan or what steps lie ahead of me. If this is where God has me then this is his plan and call on my life. This is where he wants me.

Today is all I can know; this day is the only thing I can do anything with. Dwelling on the past doesn't change anything and focusing on the future doesn't make it happen any faster.

Contentment is a tricky thing. It's being at peace every. step. of. the. way. It's not wanting more or change or less or anything different. It's accepting things as they are. It's choosing joy in all circumstances.

My mom always says "nothing good or bad lasts forever" and it couldn't be more true. That phrase is often what helps me cling to the contentment that feels so far off at times.

I know in my knower God is working in me. He is creating me to be the person he created me to be. I am already created in his perfect image (as imperfect as I am) but now he has a lifetime to refine me and bring out the qualities in me that are most useful to him. Because again, it's not about me.

If I could cling to this peace forever I would. I will. I've been through a tough season. I'm near the tail end of it, and this feeling, this state of living is a true blessing. It's one I have longed for, feeling like it was an eternity away. But it's wasn't. Although there are times where God feels distant, he is not. He is actually very present yet still there is so much left of him to be revealed. My God is both now and not yet. He is very present on this earth, but the fullness of who he is-his kingdom- has not yet been fully revealed. I'm excited for when it is revealed. But for now, I will be grateful for that which he has already shown us. Which is more than any of us deserve.